Today, I have a brand new Encounter with Jesus – hot off the press. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the trail of our faith. Each of us face a day when things just don’t make sense. God’s promises don’t seem to be true. The word is not “working” the way you think it should. Jesus is doing stuff in your life you just don’t get.

Peter had one of those days, and it’s recorded for all eternity in God’s word. I’ve taken some liberties, and build an internal dialog to go along with the story from the gospels. It a little long for a blog post, but worth the read (ok – I’ll let you be the judge of that.) I hope you’ll give me the fifteen minutes it will take to hear Peter’s story. Thanks in advance.

“Simon, Simon, behold,
Satan has demanded permission
to sift you like wheat;
Luke 22:31

I Don’t Even Know The Man!

Peter

“What is He doing? He gave Himself up? What about insurrection? What about sitting and ruling Israel with Him? What am I missing here?”

Questions flood my soul. Confusion presses in on me.

Earlier this evening He convinced us that tonight was the night. We were finally going to make our move against Rome. Like Gideon and His three hundred, we would be remembered forever. Jesus and His twelve turning the tables on Rome and restoring Israel to it’s former glory.

We talked about it at dinner tonight. After He washed our feet, after that swine Judas went off to betray us, Jesus told us we would be His inner council.

He said, “”You are those who have stood by Me in My trials; and just as My Father has granted Me a kingdom, I grant you that you may eat and drink at My table in My kingdom, and you will sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”

Surrender? How does surrender play into me–us–ruling Israel?

I’m ready to fight. I said it earlier tonight, I’m ready to die with Him, or sit in prison for trying.

He told us to come ready to fight. Andrew grabbed two swords as we left dinner, and tossed one of them to me.

Jesus went off to pray as we stood guard.

“Sit here while I go over there and pray,” He said as He moved farther into the garden.

I tried to stay awake, but sleep kept pressing in. In minutes my dreams had us in full-on battle with the Roman occupation force, and we were amazing. I was like one of David’s mighty men! In this dreamy battle scene, I took down a thousand armed soldiers without a scratch.

“So, you men could not keep watch with Me for one hour?” He said as He jostled my shoulder. “Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

I’ve never seen Him look so troubled. He walked back to His place of prayer. As I tried to hear His words as He poured out His soul to the Father, I found myself back my war. This time the eleven of us hacked and clave in an ever-widening circle. We drove every soldier out of Jerusalem until the only enemies left were Pilate and Judas.

His presence stirred me. I opened my eyes to see Him walking back again to His garden closet. Was that blood on His face? In my half-waking stupor, I saw Him go down, face in the dust, and head His cries.

“My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me…”

Now we, Jesus and I, were escorting Pilate and his elite Roman guard out of the city. Following behind us were King Herod and the Chief priest. As we turned from the gates, Herod got down on one knee holding forth his crown. Caiaphas also kneeling before Jesus, held out his priestly robes.

“Are you still sleeping and resting?” Jesus’ words startled me. “Behold, the hour is at hand and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners.”

Now I was fully awake. 

“Get up, let us be going; behold, the one who betrays Me is at hand!”

As I righted myself into a sitting position, I could see torch light in the mist.

“Whom do you seek?” Jesus called out.

A face barely visible in the pre-dawn gloom said, “Jesus the Nazarene.”

“I am,” Jesus said, rising to His full height.

At that moment, all around us, the sound of armor and shields crashing and clattering shattered the silence in the glade. There was something military about the sound, and I realized my dreams were visions. Our time had indeed come. I started looking for the sword.

It was then that Judas emerged from the ranks that surrounded us and kissed Jesus on the cheek.

Quitely, Jesus almost whispered to him, ”Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

As I felt around me for my weapon, Jesus asked again, “Whom do you seek?”

“Jesus the Nazarene,” the Roman dog called back again.

As the words found me, I found the hilt of the sword. In one motion, I played out the dream I dreamt mere hours before.

“I told you that I am He; so if you seek Me, let these go their way,” Jesus said.

As Jesus turned His eyes upward to heaven, I was already running toward the voice of our attackers.

“Of those whom You have given Me I lost not one,” He prayed.

I raised the sword above my right shoulder. I couldn’t believe how heavy it felt. For a flash, the thought came to me that I don’t know the first thing about using swords in battle.

He saw me coming and ducked his head down to my left, but I caught his ear, knocking his helmet off in the process.

Jesus was moving now.

I could hear hundreds of swords sliding out of their scabbards.

Jesus bent down and picked up the bloody ear, quickly went back to my victim and placed the ear back on his head where it came from. Had my sword been true that head would have been in the dust too.

“Put the sword into the sheath; the cup which the Father has given Me, shall I not drink it?”

The next thing I knew Jesus went off with them, leaving us behind.

Where was the battle? Where was the victory? How did His quiet surrender end in anything but a prison cell for Him? What would become of us–of me? I’ll be a joke, a laughing stock.

Before the sound of His captors left our hearing, I ran off to follow. John came too. I kept my distance but made sure that I could see those who had the Master in chains ahead of me. They had Jesus bound and roughly pulled Him along and brought Him to Annas at the house of Caiaphas the High Preist. John knew the High Preist, and so he gained entrance to the house, but I stood outside the door.

John spoke to the doorkeeper and got her to let me in. The doorkeeper, a slave girl owned by the temple and assigned to keep the door to the High Priest’s court, looked me over as I came in.

“You are not also one of this man’s disciples, are you?” she asked as she inspected my dusty robes.

My heart had been asking me the same question. How could He just abandon me? I told Him I would fight for Him, yet He just walked off. He armed me, and then rebuked me for using the sword He told me to bring.

“I am not,” I said.

On the south side of the courtyard where Ciaphas and the other rulers of the Jews were questioning Jesus, a fire burned. Some of the slaves and soldiers warmed themselves there, and I joined, so I could hear what was going on and see Jesus. What would He do?

I heard that voice I know so well saying, “I have spoken openly to the world; I always taught in synagogues and in the temple, where all the Jews come together; and I spoke nothing in secret. Why do you question Me? Question those who have heard what I spoke to them; they know what I said.”

The High Priest probed Jesus about the whereabouts of His disciples. At that moment, one of the soldiers standing across from me began to look me over.

“You are not also one of His disciples, are you?”

“I’m not,” I replied, a little more emphatically this time.

I just don’t understand. Why would Jesus let them hold Him? Was what they were saying true? Was He merely another pretender? What happened to judging Israel? What happened to the throne of David? What happened to the Messiah? The Chosen One? The Son of God? Who was this Jesus?

It was then that another slave, this one a cousin to the official who felt my blade said, “Did I not see you in the garden with Him?”

“Damn it, I don’t know the man!” I nearly shouted, and here my mouth and heart agreed. The man I knew was going to be king of the Jews, but I don’t know this prisoner, this imposter.

Two things happened then, at the same moment. In the distance, I heard a cock crowing, and at that sound, Jesus turned and looked me in the eyes. I could hear His voice in my head, “Before a rooster crows today, you will deny Me three times.”

I ran out of the courtyard, as it dawned on me. It was all true. He saw the whole thing before it happened, and knew I would fail Him. I’m not worthy to rule with Him. Of course, He is who He says He is. He told us just hours ago that He is the Truth. He told us we would be tested, and not to let our hearts be troubled. He told me I would be sifted by satan. And it all came to pass just as He said.

I failed Him. I’ve failed all of them, John, Andrew, James.

I wept.

I couldn’t face Him again. I couldn’t bring myself to pray. I went off to be alone.

~~~

To read the original story, see Matthew 26, Luke 22 and John 18.

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I’d love to get your feedback on this new encounter.

Thanks for your time.

Love you

Ben